Minor Pity Party

   So I just returned for a mile-plus walk, and I’m pretty frustrated. I am dizzy, light-headed, and my eyes hurt. And no, I’m not coming down with anything. It’s the *&^#$^@(*^$*&W#$ eyeball. Fifty-one years ago this December I had eye surgery for a detached retina. Spent two weeks in Wills Eye Hospital (over Christmas) and five months out of school. Yup, waaayyyy before laser surgeries. I was left with some peripheral vision and restrictions on physical activities, among other things, but I got college paid for on a full vocational rehabilitation scholarship.

So I figure I’m used to operating this way….until about three years ago, when I fell at school and hit the back of my head on the left side. Really whacked it good. Several hours later in the emergency room the vision had disappeared from that eye. The retinal specialist a week later found some hemorrhaging in that eye. I was proceeding with workmen’s compensation until my eye doctor filled out the final paperwork (without my knowledge) and said the current eye problems were not the result of the fall.

what I discovered in the next couple of monthgs was that the vision would come and go at odd times, which is a real B**** when you need to be able to see out of that eye to drive. So I stopped driving, thinking it was temporary.

Well, it isn’t. The vision went completely away the beginning of summer. Along with that, my depth perception kind of said “bye bye” at the same time. One eye just can’t compensate for the work of two when it comes to depth. There are a a lot of adjustments, I am realizing.  Running into stuff, not driving, not being sure of my actual place in space. Depending on my brain to rationally tell me what my eye should be able to see. So I’m compensating with a walking stick for extra stability when I am out for a jaunt. I’m trying to find another form of exercise that is less dependent on balance….but when the fitness folk talked about “chair yoga,” the vision in my head was of old arthritic people, and I just don’t see myself there yet. It’s bad enough having to wear the compression stockings because of damage to my veins from blood clots……

I know, it could be a lot worse, and I’m very aware of that. I treasure moments with art even more so because of this. But I know I need to exercise, and this is the tough part – finding something that works and doesn’t cost a lot of money. Patience has never been something I’m really good at, so that’s another reason all this is bothering me at this point. For now I’m planning to walk tomorrow around the neighborhood. That’s relatively level and a good start. Two years ago I used to have hubby drop me bout a mile or so from home when we were running errands, and vary my walks that way. Need to get back to that. Now I just want to sew.

Later, y’all.

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